Giggles and Drinkers

Denver Key Learnings

2009-10-12T23:10:00.007-05:00

Well three months after I said I was picking up blogging again, I failed. But I'm back with a

better focus. We'll see if that works out.

More exciting then me blogging again is my October trip to Denver. I rolled back into Chicago an hour ago but am still sooo excited to write about the trip. This post will be key learnings and later this week I'll blow out the trip with photos and links.

Key Learnings:

The moment you think you can arrive at an airport late and skate through security, you won't.

Don't forget to drink water.

When you talk about people in public, refrain from using last names. You'll never know who's sitting in front of you. Like on a plane.
Cheese and crackers for dinner before a night of whiskey drinking? Not the best mix.

It's rude to call out the weird man who was flirting with your friend and then brought another girl to your table. Even if you stole the table from them.

Nothing beats dirt dishing brunches. Especially when fresh table side guacamole is available.

When weather.com says it's going to snow, you should pack for it instead of thinking, "if I don't pack for it...it won't come."

...stay tuned for more tomorrow. Jacs and I in Frisco below.

A Dream to Ditch the Cell for a Land Line and Answering Machine

2009-07-10T12:42:00.004-05:00

It's been a super crazy week at work aka lots of late nights but I have today off! There's a steady stream of rain falling right now and it will probably last ALL day because this is Chicago. My motto: if you can't fight it, join it. It's been my motto through noisy neighbors, messy roommates and food fights.

So I'm on the front porch, having a beer and blogging. Yes I know it's only Noon, but I already ran today so it's completely healthy. Plus, I love the smell of rain.

Anyway - crazy week = excessive need to curl up in bed and laugh. So I've been watching one Friends DVD after another. I kind of forgot how funny they are. Take season three, "The One with the Flashback"...recall Mr. Heckles is the weird old guy who lives upstairs...

Phoebe: [opens apartment door] No! Mr. Heckles, no one is making any noise up here!
Mr. Heckles: You're disturbing my Oboe practice!
Phoebe: You don't play the Oboe!
Mr. Heckles: I could play the Oboe.
Phoebe: ...Then I'm going to have to ask YOU to keep it down!

So long story short, Friends was filmed in the 90's, back when people didn't have cell phones (except Zach Morris and that phone was bigger then my friend's new puppy). Remember the One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break?

Rachel was so upset about her fighting with Ross and forcing a break that she sat by the phone ALL night waiting for him to call because she couldn't harass him on a cell phone by calling or texting him incessantly. And Ross. He finally called Rachel from the bar on a pay phone.

I sat there thinking, I miss days like that when people didn't have cell phones and you couldn't always reach them. The anticipation is gone, the hopefulness and waiting by the phone - pathetic as it may be - is gone, and I think that's kind of sad. It's like a whole fun and sometimes awkward part of relationships has disappeared, whether it be with family, friends or significant others/hopefuls. Today, everyone gets pissed if you don't hear from someone within 30 minutes of contacting them.

So, I started thinking maybe I should get a land line with an answering machine and do away with my cell phone for a year. Economical? Probably not. Maybe actually, I have no clue what land lines cost nowadays. But the idea of being unreachable every minute of the day is kind of inspiring.

I used to get SO excited when I was younger and I'd come home and hear that beep from the answering machine signaling that someone left a message. Now if someone leaves a voicemail on my cell I think "UGHHH I hate having to dial in and listen to these...so time consuming." And that is plain impatience and craziness on my part.

So I'm thinking about it. Would you ever give up your cell for a year?

A Love Affair with Denver

2009-07-06T22:48:00.013-05:00

I just landed back in the burbs from the sweetest trip since Europe - Denver. Partly because I stayed with Grade A hostess, Jacs. It helps that she's a teacher and had a few days off to screw around with me.

Quick bloggers note: those of you who know me probably can't picture the great outdoors side of me. Jacs sure couldn't, but I've got pictures to prove it. Exhibit A:

All kidding aside, I do love the outdoors but when the hell do you get to do cool shit like hike up mountains, go to concerts surrounded by red rocks or white water raft in Chicago? Never, because you're too busy day drinking during winter at your neighborhood pub since it's 30 below zero and you're afraid to go outside.

Back it up...

Day One: Rode a bike in a dress - because it's so chic right now - to have lunch at St. Mark's where I had a YUMMY salami panini with spinach and provolone, yes I'm that smelly Italian kid - it's fine. Afterwards we went paddle boating in City Park which lasted 20 minutes before we made it sun bathing/floating on the pond. Sushi dinner and Scatagories domination at Atomic Cowboy quickly followed with Jaclyn, Taylor, Shaina (Jac's roomie) and Zito (old Chicago neighbor).

SMALL WORLD ALERT - Zito and Taylor live in the same building on the same floor as each other and had never met until Thursday night. I like to think bringing friends together is a super human power of mine.

Day Two: I decided since Denver is the thinnest city, I'm was going to keep up my running while there and run off my hangover. So I woke up early and went for a run in City Park. Not only did I get lost by the Zoo and Golf Course because I was busy gawking at the mountains, but I now know what it's like to run with emphysema. NOT EASY.

The "against smoking cancer" associations should just sponsor trips to Denver and make all the smokers suck down a pack, run races, and tell them this is how breathing will be in 10 years if they don't knock it off. They'll quit REAL quick.

So now at this point, not only am I hungover but I'm ready to hurl from the lack of oxygen. Jacs and my new pal Taylor quickly fixed that by taking me to Lucile's Creole Cafe, one of the best brunches (and Bloody Mary's) I've ever had.

Cocktails, a pool and BBQ's ensued which included amazing caprese salad courtesy of Shaina's sous chef BF and dancing on a balcony in down pouring rain. Before we knew it, it was time to hop in the limo and head to Red Rocks to see Wilco. I can't even explain the 500 crazy conversations that happened in the limo - but it would have made for some great reality tv.

Day Three: Woke up, still had not learned my lesson and went running. Afterwards skipped over to the farmers market to pick up items for pasta and salad (which shockingly, turned out to be impossibly spicy) and then headed to the Rockies game. Highlight of the game - the all American family.

Quick description, husband, wife, two little boys with hair to their shoulders, one with a GIANT knot in it. The husband/dad proceeded to buy the boys a personal pan pizza each, two giant orange pops, popcorn, churros, and ANOTHER pizza. Clearly this man is trying to combat Denver's title of the thinnest city with his family alone. Oddly enough, they were super thin. Maybe they are all on massive diet pills? I have no idea.

Day Four: Brunch at Lola's and then headed to St. Mary's Glacier where I impressed Jacs with my hiking and bolder hopping skills. Below I'm dieing/striking the best hiker pose I have:

All sarcasm aside it's almost two days later and I still can't stop looking at pictures with the mountains. Second favorite view only to the Cliff's of Mohr in Ireland. More shots on my facebook page if you care to take a look.

This post doesn't really do justice to how much I loved Denver - but I've also been awake for nearly 20 hours and I thought I was going to die on my flight home. Dropping and popping up 20 feet at a time in turbulence makes you start praying. Or if you're me, grip the seat, squeeze your eyes shut and randomly scream "I should have taken a pill."

I need some sleep so I can go to work bright eyed and excited...in 6 hours.

But quickly, other great places in Denver that you should check out:

Hamburger Mary's - get the green chile burger and Mary's beer.

Hooked on Colfax - sit in the back patio, bring a book or good company.

The Shoppe - coffee, good. cupcakes, good. art, amazing. and the music will bring you back.

Cab Drivers and Fresh Baked Chicken

2009-07-06T22:36:00.003-05:00

Well, I haven't blogged since my birthday over a month ago - lay off me I've been traveling! That and I had nothing cool to write because I've been a little busy with the day job. First, a quick cab story.

Couple of weekends ago it was a delightful sunny day in Chicago, Sox were playing the cubs. I threw my phone about four times out of frustration, left the Yard in the 9th pissed and flagged a cab to head to my Aunt and Uncle's house where I was dogsitting. The convo goes like this:

Cabbie: My lady, you have such beautiful skin.
Me: Thanks sir, it's been sunny out lately.
C: It's like a baked chicken when it comes out of the oven, you just want to EAT it.
Me: oh gosh, never heard that before...
C: SO SEXY.
Me: OK STOP RIGHT HERE, THIS CORNER IS GREAT!

I mean a girl loves a compliment every once in awhile, but a word to the wise boys: Keep it out of the "Fresh Chicken" arena. Thanks.

Birthday's Bring Detox...

2009-05-10T19:22:00.007-05:00

Thanks to all who came on Friday. I think Southport City Saloon didn't believe me when I said about 50 people were coming for my birthday...maybe next time you'll believe me Saloon. But seriously, I felt really loved. Below is the only photo I have from the entire night.

This year I only have a handful of apology cards to hand out, which is REALLY a step up from last year.

My Liver. Time and time again I kick her and she gets back up for more! She lasted through pre-party prosecco, beer and several shots at Southport City Saloon, more beer and more then several shots at Schoolyard and only at 3 a.m. started to shut down on me at Green Mill. I dare say, she was a real sport. I'm sorry little liver for putting you through that.

Green Mill Man. Dear Green Mill Man, apologies for giving you a verbal tounge lashing, causing my friends to build a barricade with their bodies around me. And by that I mean he might have brushed my elbow on accident and I full on yelled at him like he tried to punch me in the teeth. A result of one too many whiskey shots? No. A result of 20 too many.

People who's phone numbers I have. I'm guessing there are some people who wish I didn't have their phone number on Friday. Yes, I had 50 people at my birthday party. But apparently I found it reasonable to sneakily text harass the few people who didn't make it. YIKES...so for those people I harassed via text message and perhaps in another language, I promise to get the device that protects you (and your friends) from your drunk text messages.

That's about it. I usually don't apologize for anything (OK that's a big lie, I say I'm sorry a lot for no reason...but rarely do I mean it) but a few captain crazy moments slipped out. And Green Mill Man? I owe you something sweet, like a cupcake.

Living Vicariously Through Television

2009-04-30T22:22:00.004-05:00

My friend just got done watching an episode of The Practice. She said she gets that it needs to be emotional but there's no need for it to be so heart wrenching.

I disagree.

The reason people watch television is to live vicariously through it's characters. You want to cry? You watch Once or P.S. I Love You. You want to laugh? Anchorman will undoubtedly do the trick. Who doesn't want to have a bad love story go good a la Meridith and Dr. McDreamy? And who doesn't want the gay best friend that will make you laugh until you cry, like Karen and Will?

People watch television to escape reality and that's ok. Because let's be honest, everyone needs a little "I can make loads of money, have a fabulous love/sex life and maintain the best friends in the world while fundraising to find the cure for cancer." Right?

That's not to say you can't live your dreams. I think people need to be reminded to live life like it's going out of style, you never know when you'll get diagnosed with a deadly disease (swine flu anyone? Kidding). So as they say, live life without hesitation. I'm a big believer in living in the now without thinking 5 years ahead.

It's kind of like that movie, "He's Just Not That Into You." Whether it's a relationship, a promotion, deciding a living location or picking out cheese at the deli, make choices for face value and don't construe a secret meaning behind it, don't over think it. Although, every once in awhile there is the exception, sure.

I'm going to sound like a GIANT hippy but I really think there are two things that affect your mood, and that's happiness and love. Tuesday's With Morrie puts it perfectly by saying, "The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."

I think that applies to all relationships - family, friends and lovers (or as Celine Dion would say, lurrrvers). I also think letting it come in is the hardest part. Once that is achieved, everything else will fall into place in time.

The Habit of One Upping

2009-04-26T10:43:00.002-05:00

For many people, a sip from the bottle makes you a little bit more courageous. Some people take it a step further and challenge others left and right.

One of my favorite examples, back in 2005, one week after the Sox won the world series I was enjoying a beer at a bar on the north side, sporting a Sox hat. A very intoxicated Cub's fan (read: jealous moron) came up to me and started arguing with me about how the Sox were just lucky and the Cub's should have won it.

Excuse me, but we (because I am a Sox player) just won the world series. Unfortunately this fellow didn't know I wasn't a bandwagon fan and that I could in fact argue him into the ground. Which I did and then I even got the drunk lad kicked out of the bar. Moral of the story: Men shouldn't start screaming at girls in a bar, it'll never work in your favor.

More recently I was in my own personal version of Cheers hanging out with friends and watching the Masters. One of my friends looked at me and said,
Friend: "You like golf?"
Me: "Yeah! Love to watch it, play quite a bit myself."
Translation, I didn't make it to a course last year, only the driving range.
F: "Really? We should play sometime."
Me: "Oh sure, I mean I'll probably school you."
F: "I bet you a fishbowl you won't."
Me: Scoffing "Yeah, OK. Be prepared my friend, I took private lessons for quite a few years."
Translation, I took 2 years of private lessons, when I was 13.
F: "OK...just so you know, I have trophies from playing in college.
Me: "mmm hmmm"
Translation, shit, gotta get to the range asap.

Will that game ever get played? Most likely not. I think I'm much more apt to try and one up someone if I know it'll never get tested. Then again, I'm sure everyone else is too.

Weekend at Bernies

2009-04-25T20:41:00.006-05:00

This post is long overdue my friends. Last weekend the Cardinals were in Chicago playing the Cubs. Not only do I dislike the Cubs since I'm a raging White Sox fan, but I also happen to like the Cards for a national league team. So I decided to go out in Wrigleyville sporting a Cards t-shirt.

As you can imagine all of the Cubs fans really appreciated my enthusiasm. I met some real nutters that wanted to take a picture with me just because of my t-shirt. Since I'm a nice person there are probably photos floating around on Facebook with me and complete strangers. Great.

If you've never been to Bernies, let me paint the picture quickly. 50% of the crowd was trashy and to tan, 40% were unattractive and the other 10% were fairly normal. To display what I mean by trashy and tan, please see exhibit A.

Apologies for the poor shot, I was trying to be stealthy.

The lady and man you are now seeing met 10 minutes prior and 8 minutes later the man's hand was in her pocket. They became fast "friends" (a la spring = mating season in Chicago post). Also please note the extremely fake tan and handkerchief of a shirt this woman is wearing. Just because it's finally above 70 degrees doesn't mean you should lose all sense of what is appropriate for the public eye. And I'm talking about her clothing and that man.

After two hours I put my foot down and made everyone leave Bernies for a better looking bar. What happens when we move next door? There's a random girl walking around with no shoes on. Best of luck to her, I hope she enjoys hepatitis.

While location does play a role, I do think a higher concentration of questionable people (read: idiots) come out once the sun is shining.

What NOT to do when Riding the Elevator

2009-04-20T22:03:00.003-05:00

We've all been there, we've all done it. "It" being any number of awkward actions that have happened in the elevator. Let's be honest - not all elevator rides are filled with the glamour of hot make out sessions like Grey's Anatomy portrays them to be. Although if you're interested, let me know. I have 62 long flights that I go up and down every morning and night for work.

Some Don'ts:

Farting/Burping: Now I'm a lady, so I wasn't even sure if I should broach this topic being as though I'm sure the Tiffany Blue Book of Etiquette would find it intolerable, however today I'm throwing the book out. But I'm also going to leave it at that. Just don't do it.

Work Gossip: Clearly it's just unsafe. There used to be seven floors chalk full of law firm below my company. I've heard a few snippets of "this lawyer hooked up with that lawyer" and "Oh no she didn'ts." Not that I don't think all's fair in love and fraternizing but come on - you're lawyers, be smart enough to keep it on the DL.

The Awkward Hide: Maybe I'm the only one who does this - it's a great move for midgets but jolly green giants watch out, it's not for you. When you are too tired/hungover/angry to talk to a coworker in the elevator, don't stand right next to them and look straight ahead. Hide in the opposite corner and stare at the captivate tv screen!

So there you have it. My top elevator don'ts. What are yours Gigglers? Any good stories to share?

Spring in Chicago = Mating season

2009-04-16T19:16:00.003-05:00

Spring in Chicago...the moment the weather shows the slightest upturn in sun, heat and all things warm it practically becomes mating season. I almost said for young adults but hey, older folks gotta get their jolly's too. I could provide you with outstanding mating statistics that happened as a result of my friend Cathy's birthday party - but I don't want to piss anyone off today.

Wrigleyville and Lincoln Park become practical playgrounds for meeting, macking and hooking-up. The difference? Wrigley/Lakeview is a playground designed for Fratdaddy's and the laid back while Lincoln Park is a playground for the stuck-up kids and Trixies everywhere you go...and by god do they know tricks.

I spent my Metra ride today trying to figure out the phenomenon. That and an over sized lady was sitting next to me, taking up half my seat so I needed to close my eyes so I wouldn't freak out. Metra side-note: I threw out that lady's tea cup yesterday morning.

Anyway - back to phenomenonizing.

Is it because people aren't in 50 layers with a hat, scarf and pair of gloves on...but who doesn't find that attractive? Is it because everyone becomes more active with softball, volleyball and dodgeball games popping up on every sand court and corner? Or is it simply that Chicagoan's truly just like to hibernate like bears.

Before this winter I'd say clearly it's the lack of clothes and activity but now that I've experienced pure frozen body from head to toe, I have an inkling it could be the last bit. Cold weather makes people as cranky as a shitty day at work.

After the first snow it's hard to find grey, black and yellow snow beautiful. Plus, every form of public transit from Metra to CTA breaks down. Inevitably I always happen to be on that ONE bus during a blizzard on Lake Shore Drive and have to get off to switch because all the sudden the bus decides it's tired.

The winter is trying time and I'm delighted it's over - for more reasons then one. At least I hope so because if it snows one more time I'm booking a flight south to see the sun. So tell me, north south east west, why does everyone have their panties in a bundle the moment the sun comes out to say hello?

Blond is Not the New Black

2009-04-14T22:17:00.004-05:00

So a couple of weeks ago it was a Sunday and blizzarding. I'm sure you all recall this day because the Sox were supposed to open the next day - however a foot of snow was on the ground (at least in the burbs) so they couldn't. Point is - it snowed for the millionth time on Sunday - and my pal Sara and I were at a loss for what to do with ourselves.

My first thought - welp, it's cold out and snowing. Today is the day I'm going to see how I look as a blond.

My second thought - I'll need a few beers before I do that.

So, Sara and I bundle up and skip over to Ulta to pick up a blond box dye and then run across the street to Binny's to get some beer. At this point you may already be thinking "a brunette should never box dye their hair blond...especially while under the influence."

And you would be right. Too bad I was feeling adventurous.

The beers are going down rather well, Sara's pulling my hair through a cap, bleaching it and all is well...and then I washed it out.

Minor disaster. I looked like a tiger. Solution? Buy another box of blonde dye and try again! Because if at first you don't succeed...

Smart? No. Hilarious? God yes.

So we skip off to Walgreen's for the dye while also purchasing a brunette box in case it goes horribly wrong. Stopped in at Chipotle for a quick burrito bowl (I swear people were staring at my hair - and you know what? I would have stared to) and got back to Sara's to continue the dye job.

Well, if I said I looked like a tiger before, at this point I just look like a loony tiger. Or maybe a cheetah. Regardless - I don't look good. Here is me being a good sport.

Brown dye goes on, I wash it out and I'm back to normal - sort of. It keeps getting lighter every time I wash it but hey, you win some, you lose some. Moral of the story? Don't drunkenly dye your hair.

So what are you Gigglers doing to beat the horrible, cold weather that won't go away?

Fishbowls are the Alcoholics Version of Tylenol PM

2009-04-11T22:10:00.003-05:00

Gigglers, apologies for the big absence - I had a family thing but I am back in action!

First topic to kick off Holy Saturday is about 50% appropriate: The crazy things girls do.

I am a professional on this topic for a couple of reasons. 1) my friends used to call me captain crazy. That was more so related to Whiskey then men though. 2) I was in a sorority, so I heard (and still hear) on a daily basis about 20 crazy stories from my ladies...mostly my single ladies who wanna put a ring on it.

My favorite crazy story from the weekend: Facebook Photo Switcharoo.

My friend recently had a weekend romp. Her first move the next day was to update her facebook photo. I asked why and she said, "After a recent romp I need to present myself in the best light possible - what if he looks at my facebook?"

My thoughts, "Ok crazy pants...guys don't stalk nearly as much as girls do on facebook." But, being a good friend I said, "Oh wow, what a great idea. I should start doing that, I'm sure it'll up my chances for long lasting love."

Sigh. Give me some other crazy pants (girl or guy) stories in the comments section and I'll give you more on a weekly basis. And that's a deal.

Traveling for Biz-nass.

2009-03-30T22:00:00.003-05:00

This past weekend I really enjoyed my time in Washington D.C. It's such a wonderful city and I would move there in a HEART BEAT. Great food, shopping and the PEOPLE. So charming. Plus everything is so beautiful and the history absolutely radiates from the buildings and streets. I took a picutre next to every monument I saw. On top of all that - it's easily the most international city in the US.

After a great weekend I rented a car and drove to Richmond, VA. The drive was beautiful. I think you really appreciate the trees, hills and landscape when you're from the flat lands of the Midwest. Richmond is a quaint town, really spotty but still great.

Upon arrival I checked into the hotel and asked the concierge for some restaurant recommendations and took off for a nice dinner out alone. I went to Hard Shell - a yummy all seafood spot on Cary Street. I ordered the grilled scallops and crab legs, sipped on a glass of wine and enjoyed people watching.

Due to the 65 degrees, sunny weather, I sat outside (sorry Chicagoan's). So, in effect I had a great view of the folks who had been playing beer pong for the past 12 hours next door. They entertained my solo dinner for at least half the evening.

The other half I thought about how much more comfortable I was dining out alone after my whole experience in Europe traveling alone. I owe my new found confidence to that trip - which will continue as I plan white water rafting in Denver and sailing lessons in Chicago.

But regardless - that's for another post. The whole point is - wait, let me climb on my soapbox - I really recommend taking advantage of traveling for work by seeing a bit of the city you're in. An easy way to find a great local spot is to ask hotel concierges, taxi drivers or flight attendants.

Once you find a place hop to it and commence to people watching. If you're nervous bring a book or a newspaper to occupy yourself so you don't think about being alone. It'll get easier and you'll enjoy your mini trips so much more.

Why United Airlines is the Bomb Diggity

2009-03-28T08:16:00.002-05:00

Long story short, my alarm never went off this morning. And I'm supposed to catch an early flight to D.C. Woops.

Rush rush rush, brush my teeth, jump in the cab and I get to O'Hare with a god awful amount of time on my hands. Apparently I should have thought of the no-traffic factor at 7 a.m., and taken a shower. Now, I look like hell and if I meet/see a hot politician in the airport, I need to run and hide. Talk about wasted chances.

Silently swearing to myself, I go to check in for my flight. The little electronic kiosk tells me to see a representative. I look to the left, again, swear (out loud this time), and get in a LONG LINE.

I finally get to a rep and she is HATEFUL about her life. That's fair I suppose since it's 7 a.m. and I haven't had coffee, so I'm pretty angry about mine too. She gives me some forms, none resembling a boarding pass. Whatev, I'm an infrequent flier so I don't think anything of it.

Off to the security line. And by line, I mean it was longer then the great wall of China. Again I start swearing. Something I realize I should have given up for lent. My bag is heavy from my laptop and I can't help to think "Midway is SO much easier, I'm never booking out of O'Hare again."

To make things worse, I have a couple behind me who thinks time passes quicker by making noises resembling Looney Tunes/Tellatubies characters mixed into one. So I listened to them. For 30 minutes. Again, I hate O'Hare for putting me in front of these people.

Finally I get through security and my immediate thought is coffee will make this all better. Just need coffee.

Being the addict I am, I found a tasty cup of Illy coffee in 2.2 seconds. After the sweet caffeine hit my lips, I figured it was time to head to the gate and ask why I didn't have a real boarding pass in my hands.

So I do and I learn the flight is overbooked. In this economy? GOOD FOR THEM. My conversation with the rep goes like this:

Me: GREAT. FANTASTIC. FITS MY MORNING, MAM (because no matter how angry, one should always be polite).
Rep: If you could just have a seat, we will call you if a seat opens up.
Me: If a seat opens up? Fine. But taking a look at the crowd I'm clearly not making it. When is the next flight?
Rep: In 3 hours. If you give up your seat right now we'll give you a free ticket.
Me: Free ticket? To anywhere? Round trip? No catches?
Rep: No catches.
Me: I'M IN! This is wonderful! I have a movie in my bag I can watch! (Because the rep clearly cares about what I will now do with my 3 extra hours.)

In a flash, I love O'Hare, I love United and I'm planning a new trip. I was going to use the ticket for Denver but flights there are SO cheap right now that I think I should just go somewhere a bit more pricey.

So you tell me where to go, Gigglers. I'm heading to the airport bar for a celebration cocktail.

Suburb Shenanigans

2009-03-23T21:51:00.006-05:00

Before I even begin, let me just say they need to make drive through ATM's shorter for midgets. My car was pulled up as CLOSE as possible and I still had to unbuckle my seat belt and lean out of the car just to press the buttons. WHY is life so difficult for little people?

Anyway, so I had a couple of gal pals visit the burbs this past weekend. While I think the OP (Orland Park) is a fairly typical middle America suburb, for some reason the freaks always come out of the wood works when Sara is around. Add Dev to the mix and the fun never stops.

Saturday started off swell - ate a little breakfast, went to the gym with Sar, stopped by my Uncle's for a beer, went hiking in a fab forest preserve (waterfall and everything), had another beer...you get the picture - work out, beer, work out, beer.

Oh, I forgot to mention I got lost twice driving in the neighboring suburb looking for a place where we could indulge in a boozy bev outside. Mind you the neighboring suburb is 5 minutes away. I almost stopped to ask for directions when I realized saying "I'm not from here, I'm from Homer Glen" would have drawn odd looks.

Soon after, Sar and I picked Dev up from the train station, had a lovely dinner and watched "Made of Honor" in attempt to pick up tips on 'how to talk to boys.' But really, we just learned several corny lines to use when in a tough spot, like being the maid of honor for your girl BFF and realizing you're in love with her. If you're a man. Very useful.

After learning 10 different ways to say I love you but not really, we turned off the film and went to the "happenin'" bar in OP - Sam McGuire's. Great live band, beer in buckets on special (you could even mix!) and three spots at the bar, we were set! And, one of my two suburb friends joined us - Joe Smith. Thank God because it was quite entertaining to have a guy's opinion of the shenanigans happening around us - especially Sara's texting love affair.

But I digress. Below please find three of my favorite people at the bar.

The Pink Lady - Pink lady because her nails were painted shocking pink, just like the shocking pink crayon you used to color with in grade school. Also, she was wearing what looked like should be a shirt as a dress, complete with the plastic bra straps poking out. One word comes to mind and that is skanky.trashy.i.forgot.my.pants.and.strapless.bra. Photo below for your pleasure.

Too Tan Sam. This girl was tanner then Sophia Loren at the Oscars and must have been watching "Big Love" recently because she was of the belief that it was A-OK to flirt with two guys, let them buy her drinks and then point at another ANGRY looking man 5 feet away and yell "That's my Boyfriend!!" Angry Boyfriend was standing with Angry Friend who already had a black eye, so clearly these things happen often. Photo below of That Girl.

Sylvester. Sadly I didn't capture a photo of Sylvester, he was too busy spitting on my shoulder. The Looney Toons like character found it best to order drink after drink directly over my right shoulder "Effin' (spit flys) Cherry (spit flys) vodka (spit flys)." Best part? He was That Girl's boyfriend.

Lastly I'd like to sum up tonight with a key learning. In case you've ever been over-served and are craving hard boiled eggs, be sure to stop by your local 7-11 to pick some up. Sara has proof they exist in tiny plastic packages.

Just remember...

2009-03-20T17:00:00.001-05:00

Life, every minute is borrowed time.

Aggressive Following - when 140 characters isn't enough

2009-03-18T22:10:00.005-05:00

One of my favorite authors recently posted the following in her blog,

"Apparently I broke Twitter by trying to be polite and following people who
follow me. The troubleshooting guide says I'm "aggressively
following." If that phrase doesn't sum up my whole life, nothing does."

I started cracking up at my desk and told my cube mate, Allie about it. I think it's hilarious that Twitter will raise a red flag if it thinks your are following too many people in a short period of time. It's like they are trying to implement some sort of security measure. As if they are trying to keep the crazies away from stalking.

Job well done, Twitter. It was a valiant effort...but I've got some bad news for you. I'd say 75% of the people on Twitter and Facebook use the social media network as a stalking tool.

Whether it's to check out an ex, some random person you hooked up with or your newest crush - you're mildly stalking. Chances are everyone logs onto Facebook or Twitter at least once a day to see what their new/old/possible future flame is doing.

And you know what? That's OK. Everyone does it and it's an easy way to get some quick insight into someone's life...as long as you don't take it to the point of felony, you are in great shape!

The key thing to remember is to not forget about other means of communication. For example, if you "miss me" and "can't wait to see me" or "want to hang" please, don't tell me on Facebook. That's lame. Pick up the phone. Call. See how I'm doing. Ask what I've been up to or how my day went. But for the love of God, do not say it via my "wall."

I get that people are shy but in the 1950's being shy wasn't an option. Back in the day to score a date the gentleman had to call the lady. Often times people didn't even have personal phones. The man had to call from the lady at a soda shop, at the precise time she'd be there, from the candy shop that he was at just to use a phone to ask her out.

Now, if your Grandfather could do that, I dare say you can take your cell phone from your pocket and call my cell phone. It's easy enough and you don't even have to worry about strangers answering because you aren't calling a candy shop, you're just calling a personal phone.

So go ahead, aggressively follow. Then pick up the phone.

The Luck of the Leprechauns

2009-03-16T21:15:00.005-05:00

I had a pretty low key St. Patrick's day weekend.

I started out the St. Patty's weekend Saturday at the Emerald Loop at 9:30 a.m. sharp...and didn't stop until 2 a.m. I dare say I outlasted all of my frat-daddy friends and I didn't even indulge in alka seltzer in the morning. If you need tips on how to balance whiskey, Guinness and Irish car bombs throughout a 17 hour period, just ask me.

Halfway through the day I went from the typical jeans and t-shirt look into the flag outfit. The flag was a little half assed this year but alas, it's posted below so you can catch my drift.

Please note, I closed my eyes just for this shot. It had nothing to do with the horrible Irish car bomb experience a minute before.

I wish I could have captured my cab drivers face as I climbed into the front seat. I guess he's not used to flags as clothing.

Fast forward five hours and you could find me playing flippy cup in the basement of a bar on Southport, where I may or may not have gotten into a fight with a married man that was trying to hit on my friend..."SIR this is a catholic holiday! You need to check out commandment #6 and get back to me!"

Two hours after that I found the only Irish(ish) lad in the Schoolyard - he was sporting a Irish rugby jersey. After my trip to Ireland I really came to love rugby players. So I figured this guy is wearing a Irish rugby jersey, I've had 20 beers, close enough. After working my charm for 4.67 minutes Rugby asked if he could buy me a shot.

"Sure!" I say.
"Great, how about Jäger?" Rugby asks.
"Oh god no, I can't even have a sniff of Jäger without losing it," I
explain, "but how about Whiskey?"

Rugby looks at me like I have 3 heads. I think that's when I began to lose him, or maybe win him. I can't be sure. Shortly after I got bored and tried to scoot the conversation. Rugby gave me his card, I tossed it in my bag and didn't give it a second look until I found it today.

Turns out he works in marketing for a candy company. Good thing I didn't know that Saturday night otherwise I'm sure I would have found it appropriate to break into song belting out "The Candy Man."

The rest of the night was fairly normal. Said good bye at 2 a.m. to my favorite bar tenders including Bald Guy who REALLY hates life, high-fived Dan and Brent who can always be found at the yard and left to harass the 7-11 man, thanking him for inventing frozen pizza.

Pretty soon 8 a.m. rolled around and I was off to the Southside parade with the family. Low key, right? NOPE not when your family consists of 25 aunts, uncles and cousins who all have their own flasks of whiskey for sharing and endless supplies of beer and corned beef.

I may have died a little this past weekend, but I dare say it's more exciting then Christmas. I argue you'd be hard pressed to find a better St. Patty's celebration then Chicago's. Who else has good stories?

Preparing for St. Patrick's Day Weekend in Chicago

2009-03-11T22:08:00.002-05:00

Well folks, it's Wednesday. That means if you're going to be in the Chicago area for the festivities you have officially 2 days to get your outfit together for Saturday's downtown celebration or 3 days if you're aiming for the Southside celebration.

As I always say, go big or go home. My tradition is to attend both the Saturday (with friends) and Sunday (with family) festivities. So how to prepare for such a liver inundating weekend? I've given you all a guide below.

What will you wear? Some prefer facepaint, I prefer flags. Please check back for picture posts on Monday to see what I mean. Or, if you happen to see a midget sporting an irish flag as a tube dress, it's probably me!

How will you prepare your stomach? Take a hint from my frat daddy friends, and have a nice glass of alkasetzer at breakfast to kick off the day. It coats your stomach like a shield spell from Harry Potter.

Is there a way to carry on all day (and the next)? Indeed. That is why St. Patrick invented corned beef sandys. They are the perfect mix of grease/oil from the meet, the sauerkraut hydrates you and the bread soaks up the alcohol.

Where will I sleep? Why, wherever you land my friend. After all we are celebrating the Irish and that means being the friendliest people on Earth. However, it's best to have your phone locked, loaded and charged for Saturday in case the loss of one's keys occurs.

Well my friends, there you have it. What else do you do to prepare for St. Patrick's Day weekend?

Facebook Do's and Don'ts and What Happens When You Fail a Class

2009-03-09T21:57:00.004-05:00

After a quick scan to find some embarrassing Facebook status updates, I'm proud to say I didn't find any. Clearly my blog is picking up readership.

So instead I'm posting my favorite status update. Since I'm full of morals, I won't say who's it is but here we go, "Sally needs retail therapy. and vodka."

While it's not overly interesting, it does bring me back to my junior year at Loyola. At this time I was still pretending to be "business minded" and was cruising along as an accounting major. Let's be clear, by cruising along, I mean Amanda basically got me through it. Praise the lord for people who let me copy.

Fast forward 6 months, copying didn't help when finals came and I failed Macro or Micro Econ (I can't be sure which). Instead of thinking "God, what am I doing with my life?" I think, "Damn. Well, better get a couple of Lemon Drop Martini's at McCormick and Schmick's and go shopping at Bloomingdale's!"

And I did. $600 on my credit card, 3 pairs of shoes, 1 pair of jeans and a bunch of new make-up later, I felt better.

I bet you were expecting to read "And then I felt bad and returned it all." NOPE. Even intoxicated, I make fantastic purchases. Instead of eating real food the next month I lived off of Ramen noodles and enjoyed my new Betsy Johnson kicks.

So let's wrap up this post with a little reminder of do's and don'ts on Facebook.

Do:

Post photos of yourself drunkenly running through water fountains in Vegas
Post photos of exotic places like the Guinness Factory
List your favorite books, it's a great place to find others

Don't:

Post photos of any part of you naked like say... breast feeding. This has been quite the topic of news lately. Apparently breastfeeding Mom's are getting their panties in a bundle because Facebook doesn't allow breastfeeding photos.

Well let me tell you, Facebook has missed a couple. Sure, it's a beautiful thing, for you and your family. And, probably not your extended family, because that's a little awkward.

A good rule of thumb is this - don't post anything you wouldn't want showing up on Perez Hilton. While there may be rules about copying photos and posting them places, people still do it without seeking permission. And let's be honest, if it was posted on Perez, at least you could sue for a boat load of cash. If some rando posts it, there's not a snowballs chance in hell you'll find it. Rendering you not only half naked on some rando's computer background, but poor.

Bad Behavior: Lady with the Tea

2009-03-05T21:51:00.003-06:00

In 2005 (I couldn't find anything more recent) 53% of Americans drank at least 1 cup of coffee a day. I actually thought it would be higher, I love the Jo myself. Plus, you don't want to cross me before coffee or consequently on a day I haven't had coffee. I'm an addict, have been for 6 years and I'm OK with it.

Like other habits, every morning when people board the Metra the 'regulars' all take their usual seats. In fact, most people will give you the look of death if you happen to take theirs. Trust me, I've tried it. How else am I going to get a good look at Metra boyfriend?

So, each morning there is a lady with quite a large fur coat that sits in front of me. She enjoys a cup of tea every morning. What does she do with the paper cup after she's consumed her tea? SHE LEAVES IT ON THE SEAT FOR A METRA EMPLOYEE TO PICK UP.

That's absurd for a couple reasons.

Lady with tea could save the earth and a forest a lot of trouble if she would just bring a reusable travel mug each morning.
Last time I checked, the Metra is not a restaurant complete with bus boys.

I'll admit, this lady has been buggin' me for the past four months, at least. I've often thought of picking up her cup and throwing it away for her. But would other people think that's just as strange?

Note I worry about looking strange when picking up someone else's garbage to throw away, but I don't give it two seconds thought when I wear elephant patterned rain boots or leg warmers when the weather is chilly.

For some reason I feel like the Metra people have a lot to do; punching tickets, playing with their change machines and trying to get the train to the destination safe and on time (which we all know is a real struggle).

What would you do? Throw the cup away or get over it?

Please note: I recognize I'm a little crazy.

The Facts of Life, Love and The Bachelor

2009-03-03T16:55:00.008-06:00

Obviously if you don't live in a bubble The Bachelor was a huge topic of conversation today. Even if you're a man's man I'm sure you heard a group of giggling (or possibly cursing) girls discussing it today. While I was waiting for the Metra in the burbs I heard two older ladies talking about last night’s episode and it was only 6:45 a.m.

Let's be clear, I'm not judging these women. While I was on the train I quietly carried on with my typical morning routine reading the Wall Street Journal and drinking my coffee. However, I couldn’t wait to get into work to check my most reliable celeb sites.

For all you men out there who don’t secretly watch The Bachelor, here’s a quick recap:

Jason choose Melissa, asked her to marry him
She said yes and kept yelling “I’m so excited to be engaged!”
About 6 weeks later Jason decides woops, I actually love Molly, I made a mistake, better fix it quick.
So he breaks up with Melissa on national television (After the Final Rose, Part I)
Tells her he doesn’t love her anymore and that he’s still in love with Molly.
Bitter pill to swallow.

Now America thinks Jason is a horrible human being and the media/viewers are all over him like hot peppers on my pizza. Which is to say a lot. I really like my hot peppers.

Onward with the lesson. Unless you’re the devil reincarnate, I don’t think anyone would break up with their significant other on national television - so the viewers need to let that go. Clearly ABC made it happen on TV.

There are two roads here people. One is the road less traveled by following your heart/no regrets/yadda yadda. The other is far more traveled by those who worry about what everyone else thinks. I applaud Jason for picking the rough road. At least he won't be stuck with divorce round 2 in 2010.

Whether it be love, switching jobs, moving to another city or going white water rafting in the Siberian Sea (maybe extreme?) I say do it. Because then you won’t be saying ‘what if’ you’ll be saying ‘remember when.’ And that's a lot more fun.

Pick Up Lines Your Dad Would Never Use

2009-02-26T07:49:00.006-06:00

Sometimes I think God put me on this earth just to overhear pick up lines. My friend Dev says I'm just really observant but I think there might be something else to it.

Regardless, I don't think I should be the only one to have the fun and glory of hearing them, so whenever I hear noteworthy bits, I'm going to share here and label it "Pick Up Lines." Then if you ever have a terrible day and need a good laugh, this can be a place for you to go.

Conversely if you've been eyeing a strapping gentleman or a pretty lady, maybe you can find your first line here...although I'm guessing 75% of the time I wouldn't recommend it.

Onward. This particular line I heard in the airport LATE last night. Please note, B is for Boy, G is for girl.

B: "So, girrrl, whatchu doin after you get your luggage"

(girl looks horrified)
G: "Umm...getting my luggage and going home...do I know you?"

B: "Yeahhhh you do, we were just on that plane together!"

G: "Oh, umm right...bye"

And I left Midway with a big smile on my face.

Hiding Behind Technology

2009-02-23T21:58:00.002-06:00

The Internet is like a catch 22. On one hand it brings people together. Like my old friend Garrett and I started talking again every now and then and it started because of this blog. The Internet serves as a great way for getting back in touch with friends, especially by means of Facebook.

However, there's a huge downside that I, of course am not the first to argue, nor will I be the last. While the Internet sometimes makes it easier to communicate, it's often at the expense of being personal.

For example, almost everyday I log onto Facebook. Nearly 2 times a day I'll see Facebook status' saying things like, "XX doesn't want to play the game anymore. I'm starting to think it's not worth it..."

You know what could help you stop 'playing the game,' sir? If you didn't splash your feelings on Facebook and instead picked up the phone to voice your thoughts.

The same thing happens with GChat. I'd LOVE to count the number of couples in a day who get into tiffs on Gchat because someone misinterpreted something. There are 2 rules of the road when talking online. 1) Sarcasm is overlooked 75% of the time. 2) you probably shouldn't use it on your hyper sensitive girlfriend, and then wonder why she's mad at you. However, you could always go the route one of my friends did, and block your significant other from Gchat, that'll save you some arguments. Although it may also be a sign of other underlying problems.

Similarly, text messages have caused an equal amount of blunders, not only in relationships but I'd say even more in the "pre-relationship" phase. Before you send one more flirty text, do yourself a favor and take a gander at Flirtexting, a new site made after the book Flirtexting written by the folks of He's Just Not That Into You. Please don't let that take the credibility away, it's a funny web site. A little taste:

Roses are red, violets are blue, Happy Valentines Day from your favorite little
Jew. (restrictions apply)

I'm not sure what restrictions they are talking about there. Given my fondness for the Jews I might send a text quite similar to that. I'm kidding...sort of.

The whole point is, pick up the phone. Voice-to-voice and face-to-face conversation is becoming a lost art form, which is sad. One of the things that amazed me most in Italy was the Romans ability to have wonderful, long, intelligent conversation over dinner. I enjoyed it so much. Here in the US people can't even make eye contact for a decent amount of time, much less have a good lengthy convo.

Go ahead, try it. The next conversation you have try looking that person in the eye for the duration of the convo. I bet it won't be easy.

A Few of my Favorite Places

2009-02-21T21:21:00.008-06:00

Jetlag is finally catching up with me and I'm officially sick and tired - literally. So I'm "kickin' it" on Saturday night...aka watching movies, sipping tea and wearing sweats. It's amazing.

In another ode to my trip I wanted to post a few of my favorite photos/places I visited. Alas, we begin.

City of Rome. I was up high standing on a random marble monument overlooking the city, thinking two things.

One - Damn, I took a great picture.

Two - I can't believe I'm finally in Italy.

I mean, you hear from people that the Colosseum is right smack dab in the middle of the city but this really proves it. It's right outside my friends front door.

The Colosseum at night is one of the most breathtaking views in Rome. Along with this:

Overlooking Rome at night.

Onto Ireland...

The Wicklow Mountains. Beautiful, green and a great point for a sense of direction. Interesting fact, if you are facing the mountains but standing in Dublin, the Irish call them the Dublin Mountains. If you are in Wicklow facing the mountains the Irish call them the Wicklow Mountains. If you are from Wicklow and standing anywhere in Ireland, they will always be the Wicklow Mountains.

The coast of Galway. Houses are colorful, people are friendly and the town is full of cozy pubs lit warm with fireplaces. Another interesting fact - in Ireland beer is served in the brewery's respected glass. For example, a Hoegaarden is served in a Hoegaarden glass. Which isn't so much a pint as it is a mini bowl. This glass was twice as wide as a pint and quite a bit taller. Halfway through the beer I was feeling tipsy and checked out the alcohol content - 8.7%. HOLY HELL.

The Cliffs of Mohr in County Clare. Astoundingly peaceful. The locals joke about the wind blowing people into the water because it is typically such a strong breeze. Luckily the day I went it was abnormally clear, sunny and windless. I guess God figured since it snowed my first day in Ireland, he'd give me some clear, sunny ones too.

These are a few of my favorite places that I managed to capture on camera, none of which do any of the actual places justice. I'm beginning to plan another trip back in October, let me know if you're in.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

2009-02-19T22:11:00.007-06:00

Sorry Gigglers, this post has been a long time coming. At first I thought I'd blog while I was traveling in Ireland and Italy but who was I kidding, no time for such luxuries between sipping wine in Rome and downing a Guinness in Ireland.

Speaking of Ireland, check out my favorite photo below, from the Cliffs of Mohr. Breathtaking and I can't wait to go back.

Alas, here I am.

Biggest key learning from Europe: I've got to focus on having a better quality of life. Contrary to popular belief (or...maybe just my belief) it's not normal to work 12 hours a day. While Euro's have a much different work/life balance and lifestyle then the good ole USA, it's still something that should at your fingertips here...or at least within reach.

I mean, people in Ireland go to pubs regularly after work during the week! Some may call that a drinking problem but I personally believe they are trying to pump money into the economy to avoid the recession from getting worse. That and how else do you expect all those pubs to stay open? There are at least 3 on every block in City Centre Dublin.

In Rome, the biggest, most enjoyable event of the day is dinner. It lasts hours and people have real conversations. Talk about a lost art form here. The last time I had a dinner for hours before my trip was...a dinner party I threw a year ago. Inappropriate. My most enjoyable event of the day is either the walk to work because it's the only time I receive fresh air, or my first cup of coffee, because I'm addicted.

Thus, I've developed some key steps I'm going to take to develop a better "Quality of Life."

Decipher between what needs to be done and what needs to be done.
Unfortunately I'm not an ER doctor, thus my work isn't life or death situations. Treat it as such.
Really appreciate and utilize the free time I do have.
Stop checking email at home.
Stop checking email at friends houses.
Stop checking email in the middle of a bar (KIDDING).

You get the jist, basically concentrate on seriously disconnecting while I'm not at work, decide what really is important and appreciate the free time I do have by making it quality time. Easy right?

So what are some more ways to achieve a better quality of life?

How to Break the Ice

2009-02-02T22:23:00.005-06:00

I went out with some friends this past weekend to a few less than fancy joints - which happen to be my favorite kind of bars. Fortunately (or unfortunately, if you're a glass half empty kind of person) whenever you go places where there is the possibility of excessive drinking people's bad behaviors come out of the wood works. Which I fully appreciate and often try to capture on camera.

Regretfully, my pal Sara hasn't uploaded the glory yet so that will have to come at another time. Instead this post is going to morph into the proper way to hit on a man or lady while in a bar or other public area.

Things to avoid:

Hugging people from behind when they are not prepared
Trying to start a conversation and then end up yelling at said stranger in the same 30 seconds
Starting a convo with, "Hey, wanna go make out?"
Smile and say "Girl, where'd you get that body from" - sorry but that's only appropriate for Will.I.Am.
Second guessing a girl's drink order such as happened to me:

Boy: "Can I buy you a drink?"
Me: Sure, that'd be great.
Boy: "What can I get you"
Me: "Sierra Pale Ale, thanks"
Boy: "Don't you want something a little more classy, like a mixed drink?"
Me: "Not unless you want me to vomit all over your fake leather jacket."

In case you're guessing, that conversation ended abruptly.

The more appropriate way to break the ice with a stranger should be more humorous and light hearted. Allow me to give you an example from my friend Joe Smith in reference to my Metra Boyfriend.

Ask him, "How much does a polar bear weigh?"
And when he goes, "I don't know?"
You say, "Enough to break the ice."

So go ahead, and give it your best shot. Hit on the next person you fancy. Even if you get shot down you just made that person's day. Unless of course you choose to do something in the "Things to avoid" category in which case, good luck, good sir.

Bad Behavior: Gym Meat heads

2009-01-30T10:15:00.007-06:00

I know I know, a day late and a dollar short. Bad Behaviors are supposed to be posted on Thursday’s, however my cousin is in from China so I had a dinner party/Irish Pub fest immediately after work. It was glorious.

Anywho, I love going to the gym as much as the next person aka it's a love/hate, well more hate than anything, relationship. But I still do it. There are certain lights at the end of vigorous work outs like the eucalyptus steam rooms and my fake boyfriend in the white sox hat that always runs in front of me. However what I don't love is the surplus of meat heads that one can encounter on any trip to the gym.

According to Urban Dictionary:
meat head - Usually said in describing a male who frequents the gym obsessively and only is concerned with "getting big", and who possesses little or no other qualities or personality.

Onward with Bad Behaviors.

Meat head Climbing
When I say meat head climbing, I mean picture five meat heads in a row on stair climbers. Big, sweaty, yelling back and forth between each other and saying things like “Come on man, you had that soup for lunch today.” The soup comment made me double over in laughter, but really? The point is you’re in an open gym and clearly only shouting to bring attention to yourselves. No need to shout boys. Everyone can see you and your big, giant, gross muscles a mile away.
Solution: Lay off the creatine. I don’t know how many times I need to say it but 99.9% of girls do not find that “look” attractive.

Pen and Paper in Pocket Meat Head
The other day I was huffing and puffing on the treadmill, wishing I had bigger lungs when something caught my eye. A fellow about my age (23) was talking to an older lady (about 53). I thought, “Oh that’s nice, must be his friend’s mom.”

Continue huffing and puffing.

She chuckles. He smiles. Then I spy a wink. Wait…a wink?!

For the love of Tatum O’Neil, they are FLIRTING! And just as I was about to fall flat off the treadmill the fellow pulls out a pen and paper and asks for her number. He leaves saying, “Great, I’ll call you soon.”
Solution: Solution my ass. Why are you carrying around pen and paper at the gym!?

Thus just a couple of my gym meat head pet peeves. What bugs you at the gym Gigglers?

SAG Awards Fashion Favorites With a Few Thoughts From The City

2009-01-26T21:04:00.005-06:00

My fellow Gigglers, I was planning on doing a SAG fashion post today but I was blown away by the stupidity shown on The City so in efforts to hit both high notes tonight, this post will consist of two parts.

Part I: SAG
I watched the SAG awards and while I thought Sean Penn's acceptance speech was a little awkward, I'm not going into that tonight. Because tonight is about fashion and I have two awards to give out. The Giggler Best Dressed Madam and Sir.

The Giggler Best Dressed Madam goes to Kate Winslet.

2009 is clearly the year of Kate. Last year was mine, this year it's hers. Not only were her films The Reader and Revolutionary Road absolutely fantastic (OK so I haven't seen Road yet but if you want to let me know otherwise I'll be taking myself this week) but Kate has looked stunning at each award show. My favorite is the blue dress below. Please ignore the words on the photo, I wasn't able to take my own since my invitation to the SAG's was lost in the mail.

The Giggler Best Dressed Sir goes to John Krasinski. Is that weird since I don't even watch The Office? Although once I find Season One on DVD I will..hint hint any Gigglers have it? Regardless I think he looks hot in a "I'm not a super fancy man dresser but when the time comes I can effortlessly pull it together" kind of way. Plus, I have a thing for skinny ties.

The real good news here is I cap my dating efforts at 30, and John turned 30 this year - now that's what I call fate. Meghan, my super Googler friend just informed me that he's dating Emily Blunt. To which my rational reply was "damnnn she's so much skinnier then me." John, when you and skinny mini break up, I'll be waiting for your phone call.

Part II: The City or why it's a bad idea for reality stars to cheat on their significant others.

If you saw The City tonight you know what I'm talking about. Adam cheated on his super cute mini model girlfriend and is currently telling lies, saying it never happened. I've got news for you Adam, the cat's out of the bag! It's hard to keep secrets like that when you have MTV cameras taping your every move.

To make matters worse, Whitney goes on acting like she's in high school (as Olivia aka crazy pants pointed out) and lets the whole cheating matter consume her life, even though it doesn't involve her. Now that's one easy way to lose hot Australian boyfriend aka Jay.

Another reality show cheating bad form award goes to Brody Jenner. I'm sure we all recall Lauren and Brody falling in love right about the time when Lauren was skipping off to Paris for a few weeks last season. I was personally thrilled, claiming Brody and Lauren were the next Brad and Jen (minus the nasty divorce which I still blame on creepy Angelina). By that I mean they are the couple you think will never die and are just too beautiful for words.

Well, what does Jenner do? Finds himself a playboy bunny to bounce around with. Bad.Form.

Gigglers, who were your favorites at the SAG awards? Or, if you prefer, what are other reality show bad forms?

Bad Behavior: Etiquette

2009-01-22T21:22:00.003-06:00

And by etiquette, I mean nobody has any. Luckily I'm here to provide solutions for bad behavior. Here are my top 3 bad etiquette moves for today:

Escalator - On my way to work today I was riding the escalator, which I personally think are made for walking up. Not everyone agrees with that, and that's just fine, but then move to the side so people can still walk on up - fair?
Solution: if you are someone who never walks up escalators please note it would probably do your muscles some good to walk up at a rather quick pace. Especially if you sit at a desk all day - get that blood flowing or get out of the way I always say!

Blackberry - What's more annoying the walking behind someone with their nose in their blackberry? Someone in the middle of a social setting updating and responding to emails on their blackberry. Unless you're a doctor, you're not that important.
Solution: leave your blackberry appendage at home for a day or perhaps five. I promise you'll go home and find your BB alive and well; meanwhile you'll be at ease without the stress of always having to respond. If not at least you can sleep well knowing you didn't annoy anyone by BBerrying in their presence.

I.Pod Over share - This goes out to all my homies who think their music is so hip they want everyone in a 10 foot radius to hear. I would thank you for sharing but really, I'm silently cursing you, especially at 7 a.m.
Solution: there is no solution people. Unless you want to be deaf at age 30, turn that shit down.

What other etiquette problems bug you gigglers?

Inauguration Insights

2009-01-21T07:15:00.004-06:00

I think most will agree that yesterday was an amazing day for America - whether you're an Obama fan or not, you have to be filled with some sort of hope, right?

Maybe not. I was listening to NPR's This American Life Inauguration podcast and it offered some really interesting insights to what people are thinking from 9 year olds to 26 year olds.

Let's first dwell on the man that made me want to fight him. Before I dive in, I do want to say I give This American Life all the credit in the world for displaying two sides of one issue. I think it's very important to do in journalisim.

Back to the man. Ice is a 26 years old educator. Ice voted for Obama because he "felt like he'd be hatin' on him if he didn't." Not because he thinks Obama is going to change or help anything. Why does Ice think Obama won't help? Because, "a black man who's father is from Africa that had a baby with a white woman, going to an ivy league college and becoming president of the United States is not the same as Marcus Garvey or Martin Luther King at 25 years old leading bus boycotts."

Let me give you some words to the wise, Ice.

No, no not it's not the same. Nor would a 25 year old white man ever become president. Why? Because there are laws against it. Set forth in Article 2, Section 1 of the US Constitution - you have to be 35. Rules aside, when will it ever be enough for people like Ice? When will someone be black enough or white enough or purple enough? People like Ice are going to say Obama isn't good enough because he's not black enough, he's too educated and he didn't lead thousands of Africans in marches. Well a bit of advice for Ice and alike, you'll be waiting a long time for your kind of President to come along.

That said, everyone is entitled to their opinions and I think it's a learning expirience to always hear both sides of every issue.

On the lighter side of This American Life...and mind you I listened and typed this story out quote for quote because I loved it so much.

Recently in San Francisco kids were still so hyped up about the elections that teachers suggested they all write letters to President Obama. The idea took off and other cities caught on. One 9 year old's thoughts:

Dear Barak Obama -
One thing you could fix is the economy. Something happened to me. I went out
to lunch at Starbucks and I wanted to buy a cup of whipped cream. And normally
it's 43 cents but now it's 74 cents! The price raised 31 cents for no reason! So
you should probably try to change things like that from happening. You should
keep an eye out for things like that. I wish you good luck.

P.S. I love whipped cream.

Love, Alexis, age 9, Brooklyn.

Regardless if your 9 years old or 26 we should all share one common opinion as citizens of the United States. Respect your President. Obama is now the leader for four years at minimum and it is our duty as Americans who are lucky enough to have freedom and voting rights, to show him support and optimism. Negativity only breeds more negativity, and I don't see how that helps anyone.

Love is a Choice.

2009-01-17T16:41:00.003-06:00

I was at happy hour on Friday trying to lift myself out of my deep deep exhaustion which didn't work well...might have had something to do with drinking Guinness. I was talking to my new friend, Matthew who is sooo wise. Among the many things we discussed (although not to many, recall I was exhausted which most people know makes me socially stupid) he told me love is a choice.

I silently thought hmm maybe, continued sipping my Guinness and carried on conversation. Not long after the time came to head to Union Station, I said my goodbyes and started walking. It was snowing and for some reason walking at night downtown in the snow always makes me contemplative.

So I started thinking about Matthew's words, love is a choice. At first I thought, no way. Just like everyone else I want to fall in love but for some reason cupid clearly hates me, right?

Maybe not so. I've met a handful of man friends in the past few months and none of them have even made it past hanging out once. There are so many subconscious choices you make within the first few minutes or hours of meeting someone. Some vain choices may include: Do you want to make time to hang out with this person again? Do you want him or her to meet your friends?

And so on. The more time you spend with a person the more subconscious questions are answered and choices made.

I guess Matthew's right. Love is a choice. And, maybe a little luck too.

Bad Behavior: Chuck

2009-01-15T21:37:00.003-06:00

It's been a long day. I leave work at a semi-normal time around 7:30 p.m., get the Union Station and - I know this will be a shock to everyone - the Metra was late. Surprise, Surprise. But I'm working on 'being positive' so I thought, oh it's fine! Plenty of people to watch at Union Station.

...45 minutes later the train comes. As you can imagine by this time I'm slowly losing patience but I was just happy to sit down inside a warm train. I pulled out my laptop to do some work. 20 minutes later I put it away and leaned my head back, ready for a little snooze on my way outside city limits.

Then I hear him right behind me. "Your being bitchy, a crab ass. I don't want to talk anymore."

Well, at least to his credit he's direct. And to my delight "I don't want to talk anymore" should indicate the end of his convo via mobile. I smile and turn my head to the side.

Moments later I hear "Who was right, Chuck or your school? That's right, Chuck was right. Say it with me, Chuck is always right." Uhh...Chuck, you just called your girlfriend a crazy crab ass bitch, I'm fairly certain she's not agreeing with you.

I pop in my i.pod and turn on a little David Grey to drown out Chuck but soon I hear, "I don't know what you want to discuss, I can't talk about myself because you don't want me to."

OK, Chuck-man, this clearly means your girlfriend wants you to ask her questions about her day. Please take the bait so I don't have to listen anymore.

"I'm going to go. I want to start my book. I don't want to listen to you anymore. If you can't change your attitude consider this us going on a break."

I immediately think three things:

The little voice in my head starts screaming CHUCK, you cannot break-up with your girlfriend on the Metra - like I now personally know him.
This is why I'm not in a relationship.
God I just want to fall asleep.

I'd love to tell you Gigglers the outcome of Chuck and his love but he was still "getting off the phone" when I exited the train...60 minutes later. Moral of this bad behavior example - if you're on any form of public transportation, and someone is sitting directly in front of you, stay off the mobile. Otherwise you might be someone else's Chuck. And I'm not talking about Chuck Bass.

Rules of Engagement: Speed dating

2009-01-14T07:27:00.002-06:00

This post is dedicated to my favorite bouncer, Matt. Apologies for the delay, my computer has been attacked by spyware, a joy I hope none of you encounter in your lives. Unless you are my worst enemy then I wish all the spyware on you in the world. Happy Belated Holidays, you bad apple.

Speed dating...you see it on TV, in the movies and you even hear stories about it, but how many of you have actually done it? Well Gigglers I did it with a group of gal pals and while I did not meet the man of my dreams (shocking, I know) I sure did get a kick out of it. Please allow me to share the most awkward man alive with you.

Let's call him The Silent Man. Not to be confused with The Quiet Man, as he was no John Wayne. Before I dive into this gem, please note the particular speed dating group I was in had an age bracket that tapped out at 35. This man might have been 50.

Now, to prepare for speed dating some of my friends may or may not have researched questions to ask. You would think most web sites would say "STAY AWAY FROM ALL QUESTIONS INVOLVING MARRIAGE OR CHILDREN." False. I personally think those web sites were actually out to get speed daters to make complete arses of themselves. Unfortunately, some of the men I talked to must have read those web sites.

Anyway - Silent Man did the exact opposite. In fact he didn't have one single question. Instead, he liked to stare a lot and pause for a minimum of 10 seconds before answering any questions you may have.

You may be wondering how I remember this conversation so specifically. Being the stealth Navy Seal that I am, I took notes. The leader of this charade gave us paper to circle yes or no for each person. Five minutes after sitting down I knew not only would I not be circling yes or no, I'd be using the paper to record the priceless conversations I was about to have. Thinking back, I wish I had enough sense to bring a mini tape recorder with me. Now, as you read the conversation below please imagine Silent Man giving 10 seconds of pause before every answer.

Me: So, do you like sports?

Silent Man: (remember, pause 10 seconds) Yes.

Me: Great, me too...baseball?

Silent Man: No not really.

Me: (thinking..what a moron) OK...basketball?

Silent Man: Oh yeah. But it'll never be the same now that Micheal Jordan and Pippen are gone.

Me: Right...that was a damn good year, 15 years ago....

Silent Man: Yeah. I really like Tiger too.

Me: Oh so you like golf?

Silent Man: Not really. Just like Tigers.

Me: OK...so you like to go to the zoo?

And it only got better. For FOUR full minutes. It was like talking to a cracked out brick wall. I pray for better dates ahead my friends. What are your worst dating experiences?

Bad Behavior: Metra Edition

2009-01-08T20:13:00.004-06:00

I'm going to start writing bad behavior posts once a week. I think Thursday is a good day for such posts as it's partway through the week and just approaching the weekend.

With that we have our first bad behavior post. Metra edition. Allow me set the stage. I moved to the 'burbs of Chicago about half a year ago to save money. At first it was so I could be responsible and buy property. I've since thought better and have re-allocated my savings for travel. The drill is to save a lump sum of money and blow it on traveling every few months. Good idea? I thought so. Point is, I take the Metra every morning.

Part I- Bad Behavior Award goes to...the Metra itself.

I've come to realize it fails me miserably in multiple ways.

It fails to have good looking guys under 30 - presumably because they all live on the northside of Chicago...although there are good looking southside guys too. So I guess they just don't leave city limits?
It fails entertain like the "L" did - there's no "Christmas Metra" with Santa handing out candy canes or little elves singing me carols.
It fails at being on time - at least once a week in the winter it runs 20-30 minutes late. This morning, I needed to get to work early. Granted I say that everyday. But today, I really needed to. So what happens? It's 30 minutes late.

Part II - Bad Behavior Award goes to...the man with the apple.

So the train was late. I'm already irritated. I lean back to try and sneak a little shut eye on my hour long waste of life ride into the city and suddenly I hear...CRUNCH.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

For the love of God. I look across the aisle and I see a man chewing a huge apple that never seemed to end. So what do I do to make it better?

I whip out my cell phone and try to take the man's photo for my blog. I don't even know if that's legal. When I was satisfied with my picture I realized... I don't even know how to upload photos from my phone onto my computer. Instead of thinking about what creep I am, I thought, I really need to invest in a flip camera. Then I can easily post photos of the random acts of whatever that I deem appropriate to capture.

But that's not bad behavior, now is it?

Why College Kids in Burberry Make Me Want to Vomit

2008-12-31T10:40:00.006-06:00

Burberry. Gucci. Luis Vuitton. Prada. College kids and increasingly high school kids are parading around in name brands that produce socks which cost more then their entire bank account holds.

Origin of my rant: I was flipping through facebook photos of a friend and 99% of the photos showed a Burberry polo wearing, semi-drunk fool. Chances are Mommy and Daddy bought those threads and lord praise them, but unless there is a trust fund set-up I'm certain that Fool is going to have quite the time adjusting to life post graduation.

Most of these post grads will need to intern and will either be unpaid (gasp!) or hourly. Once an entry-level job is scored I'm sure they'll be quite shocked with their salary thinking "...but I can't afford this season's Birkin bag!"

My point is, priorities are completely out of wack for the college kids who live in what I like to call the "Burberry Bubble."

What happened to goodwill? Or saving money until you can afford your prized possession without saying, "charge it!'

Gone are the days when college meant it was time to grow-up and take on more responsibility. Instead it looks like the Burberry Bubblers are actually lacking in responsibility. The choice to go to class is theirs, money is dumped into their accounts on a weekly basis, a Saturday night out (or Wednesday for that matter) is charged to Mom and Dad's credit card and a care package from home now includes the latest Kate Spade wallet (with a stiff $100 bill) instead of homemade cookies.

Don't get me wrong, 50% of the Burberry Bubblers are very nice people. All the power to them in the world and I pray those luxury brands make them feel good! I just hope they don't crash and burn when their bubble bursts.

Am I the only one the Burberry Bubble idea of life irritates?

Ho, Ho, Ho, Rain, Sleet and Snow

2008-12-26T16:35:00.006-06:00

Alright Mother Nature, time to pick a temperature and stick with it. I understand that Chicago weather can change with a whisper of the wind but seriously, this is getting out of control. This week it has ruined my plans/life three times.

Like right now, I'm stuck in the suburbs because the fog is so thick I can't see across the street, much less drive into the city. While some brave souls may hit the road in this weather, I'm pretty certain nobody wants me doing it. I like to drink a hot beverage, sing to the radio and drive all at once, sometimes I'll even add talking on the tele. Some people call it dangerous, I call it multi-tasking. We can all see where this scenario is heading - a big fat accident.

With that, I leave you my friends with a few tips to surviving Chicago's winter weather.

Ditch the Uggs. Seriously, not only are they hideous but name one time those puppies have kept your feet from being soak and wet. Every time it becomes slushy it's like you're stepping into a huge personal puddle. Instead, invest in a pair of rain boots. Not only will they save you loads of money (unless you're buying Hunters) but with a thick pair of socks, they will keep you toasty and dry.
Don't leave home without an umbrella. You never know when it will go from snow to rain, or sometimes like a freak-show, both at once coming in all directions. I'd recommend a burly strong one like Senz but I love fun dotty umbrellas so I end up buying a new one every 6 months. Frugal? No. Stylish? Always.
Accessorize until your hearts content. Hat? Check. Scarf? Check. Gloves? Check Check! Face mask? Now that's creepy. If you're new to the city you have probably been trying to be all matchy matchy to complete that perfect winter look. My advice? Enough is enough - look around, 99% of people don't give a shit how they look when they step out the door as long as they are covered head to toe.

'Tis the end of my tips. Now if I had a fairy godmother, I'd hit the hay, wake up and it'd be 80 degrees and sunny outside.

Welcome.

2008-12-21T20:32:00.006-06:00

Greetings Gigglers!

Welcome to the birth of my new blog...Giggles and Drinkers, where you will find random bits on life, trends and anything that happens around me. Like the one time I got into a taxi and the driver was wearing a sombrero and had a guitar in his lap. He played a little Latin ditty and sang at every red light. I'm not gonna lie, I tipped that man an extra dollar.

I also have a habit of finding things I love and then making it my goal for the day to share it with EVERYONE I know (or sometimes don't know...which can be a little awkward).

Most recently, I traveled through a blizzard in rain boots to the Morse Theatre with a few close friends to see jazz duo, Neal Alger and Typhanie Monique (which, if your eyes travel to the right you will see listed under "Places I Love," a list of popular and not so popular delights).

Not only was the music great but this Theatre is seriously a hidden treasure. It may be in Rogers Park, off the Morse Red line stop - a hood I thought only people who desired to be mugged or beat went - but I was totally wrong.

Morse Theatre resembles a cozy, intimate Green Mill. It has a serious selection of brews on tap, fantastic wines to choose from and the quaint Century Public House is attached so theatre goers can grab some grub pre or post show and hang out with the talent. Best part? This gig was a cheap $10 ticket - perfect for the holiday cash crunch.

Post below any other frugal fun finds in Chicago for all to revel in. It's the holiday season and remember, sharing is caring.

In the meantime, thanks for reading my first post...I'm sure this will be one hell of a ride!