Why United Airlines is the Bomb Diggity

Long story short, my alarm never went off this morning. And I'm supposed to catch an early flight to D.C. Woops.

Rush rush rush, brush my teeth, jump in the cab and I get to O'Hare with a god awful amount of time on my hands. Apparently I should have thought of the no-traffic factor at 7 a.m., and taken a shower. Now, I look like hell and if I meet/see a hot politician in the airport, I need to run and hide. Talk about wasted chances.

Silently swearing to myself, I go to check in for my flight. The little electronic kiosk tells me to see a representative. I look to the left, again, swear (out loud this time), and get in a LONG LINE.

I finally get to a rep and she is HATEFUL about her life. That's fair I suppose since it's 7 a.m. and I haven't had coffee, so I'm pretty angry about mine too. She gives me some forms, none resembling a boarding pass. Whatev, I'm an infrequent flier so I don't think anything of it.

Off to the security line. And by line, I mean it was longer then the great wall of China. Again I start swearing. Something I realize I should have given up for lent. My bag is heavy from my laptop and I can't help to think "Midway is SO much easier, I'm never booking out of O'Hare again."

To make things worse, I have a couple behind me who thinks time passes quicker by making noises resembling Looney Tunes/Tellatubies characters mixed into one. So I listened to them. For 30 minutes. Again, I hate O'Hare for putting me in front of these people.

Finally I get through security and my immediate thought is coffee will make this all better. Just need coffee.

Being the addict I am, I found a tasty cup of Illy coffee in 2.2 seconds. After the sweet caffeine hit my lips, I figured it was time to head to the gate and ask why I didn't have a real boarding pass in my hands.

So I do and I learn the flight is overbooked. In this economy? GOOD FOR THEM. My conversation with the rep goes like this:

Me: GREAT. FANTASTIC. FITS MY MORNING, MAM (because no matter how angry, one should always be polite).
Rep: If you could just have a seat, we will call you if a seat opens up.
Me: If a seat opens up? Fine. But taking a look at the crowd I'm clearly not making it. When is the next flight?
Rep: In 3 hours. If you give up your seat right now we'll give you a free ticket.
Me: Free ticket? To anywhere? Round trip? No catches?
Rep: No catches.
Me: I'M IN! This is wonderful! I have a movie in my bag I can watch! (Because the rep clearly cares about what I will now do with my 3 extra hours.)

In a flash, I love O'Hare, I love United and I'm planning a new trip. I was going to use the ticket for Denver but flights there are SO cheap right now that I think I should just go somewhere a bit more pricey.

So you tell me where to go, Gigglers. I'm heading to the airport bar for a celebration cocktail.